Tamsin’s story: Cambridge Terrace

I was waiting for a bus on Cambridge Terrace when two men sidled up to me. They leered at me and got into my personal space while talking to me in silly, mocking voices: “Dayum girl, you so sexay!” etc. I sort of froze and tuned out some of what they said, and after a minute or so they seemed to lost interest and walked away. It didn’t even occur to me that maybe I should have been scared until afterwards – at the time I felt more bewildered and angry. I thought about yelling something rude after them as they left, but they might have decided to come back and harass me some more.

Anon’s Story: Outside JJ Murphies

Last night (Sat 13 August) I was leaving JJ Murphies in Cuba Mall with a few of my flatmates after playing some pool. It was about 2am and quite busy on the streets. As we walked past The Bristol, there was a young man and a woman engaged in a very intense verbal argument sitting down at one of the outside tables. It caught my eye and I stopped just ahead to check that the girl was ok, though I said this was looking like an argument, when I turned back it was more than that. There was no arguing, the man had his fists screwed up and was growling at this woman like he was very angry dog ready to attack, holding a very intense stare and trying to grab her wrists to which she was resisting and broke free from. She got up and started striding away from him. I immediately ushered her toward me and said for her to come with us and that we would look after her, or something to that effect. My flatmates didn’t really have time to engage but I felt they were with me. Then suddenly the angry (boy friend/ex, I assume) came bolting up behind us, pushing me out of the way, telling me that he would fuckin’ smash me as he continued to persue this woman. I had my hand in my bag reaching for my phone to call the cops. She was screaming at him by this point and retaliated by hitting him over the head with her hand bag to try and deter him. Only at this stage did some bouncer intervene,following the man as he continued to hound this woman. I kept near by to make sure she was going to be okay. She made haste for a taxi on Ghuznee st which the man was still trying to prevent her from getting away from him. The bouncer it seemed could only try and get between the angry guy and the girl but couldn’t physically restrain him. The taxi driver got out and it seemed was trying to help the girl too. I yelled out for “some one to get the fuckin’ animal away from her”.
I can only hope that this woman is okay now and has protection from this guy. But I don’t know that, do you?
I wish that more people would respond to this kind of thing when it happens, rather than thinking “it’s none of my business” though I know it is really scary to intervene,and I know not every one feels empowered to do so, but even just by alerting someone with authority to do something about it or speaking up and encouraging others to say something too would help to make a difference. Violence and abuse is such a hushed up issue in this country. It is just so terrible when violence is experienced in a public arena like this and no-one reacts. To me it sends a message to both victim and perpetrator that society condones this kind of behaviour when no one does anything. This is not T.V people. This is Reality!!!!!

Rebecca’s story: getting home from the party

It was about 11:30 at night. My friend and I had been to a party nearby, but we decided to leave earlier because we were worried about getting home safe. We were waiting by the bus stop outside Briscoes in Taranaki St. I had an easier way to get home but I wanted to stay with my friend until the bus came because leaving her there by herself seemed wrong. While we were waiting, at least 3 different groups of young men swaggered past clutching numerous bottles of alcohol and yelling things like “Hey bitch” or lecherously sneering “what are you little ladies doing out on night like this…. hey, hey.” We determinedly ignored them, trying to act like they weren’t there, avoiding eye contact, and pretending to be talking to someone on the phone. We felt powerless, threatened and incredibly vulnerable. Fortunately, the aggression from the drunks was only verbal, and they moved off, much to our relief. We then called my friend’s mother to pick us up as the bus was showing no signs of arrival. I’m really glad I didn’t leave my friend alone and I HATE that a few scary drunks with no sense of boundaries manage to traumatise us and ruin a good evening. I also hate having to pull parents out of their other engagements to “rescue” me because I can’t cope with the situation and don’t feel safe.

Marie’s story: Saturday night in Island Bay

I was sitting waiting for the bus in Island Bay late one Saturday night, and the bar behind the bus stop was pretty full and noisy.

After a while a group of drunk guys came out and started standing around the bus stop, looking like they were waiting for a bus. As I was sitting by myself inside the shelter, they must have figured I was fair game and started talking loudly to each other about me.

I took out my cell phone and pretended to be speaking on the phone to make me feel less freaked out (in hindsight I could have called someone, but you never think of everything at the time I suppose) and one of them came in and stood next to me, mimicking me as I spoke on the phone. When I asked him to leave me alone, he screached “LEAVE ME ALONE!” in a high pitched voice, and the rest of them laughed. I could tell that they were enjoying the fact that there were 6 or so of them and only one of me, and they could see I was scared and riled up.

Then thankfully the bus came, and even though they got on too I think they must have got board of their little game. But it did make me feel completely at their mercy and disgusted that they seemed to love that.

Mary’s Story: waiting for the bus

So just waiting for the bus at about 9pm on Lambton Quay on a Friday night few weeks ago after dinner with some friends. Lambton is more scary than Courtney at night because its deserted and all the shops are shut.

I was waiting for the bus when a bunch of guys who were I’m pretty sure drunk/drinking cause they had a drink bottle they were passing round anyway these guys started yelling at me some typical stuff like “hey there” and then turning abusive cause I didn’t answer back and calling me a bitch.

I was a bit freaked out cause no one was around and the bus was still about 10mins away (and is often pretty late anyway) so instead I ran and took the cable car. Which still left me with a 20ish minute walk home to Northland once I got to the top (I called my boyfriend to help me calm down). Bit of a fail and I felt pretty gutted and angry that a sweet night out was ruined, and that I didn’t feel like I could go out and get home safely by myself

Karin’s story: intervening in the street

I was collecting money during an annual appeal in the morning near the bus stop across from Reading Cinemas, when a very disheveled man tried talking to a young Asian woman, asking her if she was from Japan.

When she ignored him he started swearing at her and calling her names. I felt scared but intervened saying: ‘Oi! Leave her alone!’ He then started swearing at me and telling me to mind my business.

I didn’t back down and neither did he. A young man waiting for the bus thankfully got involved but it took me calling the police for him to back down and walk away.

I was shaking during the whole ordeal, partly because I was nervous and partly because I was so angry.

I wonder if the police caught up to him. I wonder how seriously they took it.

I thanked the young man who backed me up but he downplayed the incident saying he was harmless. No, I said. That wasn’t harmless, that was intimidation.

Bex’s story: not a snob, just ignoring you

I got heckled by 3 men on Lambton Quay just the other day. Was called a bitch and a snob “just because she thinks she is so pretty” for not responding to some leery HEY THEREs (at 2.30pm!) – I have a question – what do I Hollaback at these guys? I think I’m gonna go with “This is just my normal bitchface”. Leave me alone.

Fi’s story: Getting home from Uni

Often I don’t finish at uni until it’s dark. The last bus to Karori leaves at 6:15, so most evenings I walk home. Something I like doing if I have been sitting at a computer all day, but something that makes me nervous every single time.

A couple of months ago I was walking home from rehearsal and was just about at the viaduct (the same spot where I have been picked up and driven home -free- by a taxi driver and by the police on other occasions) when a car slowed down beside me. A voice called out the window:

-Excuse me
-(I ignored him)
-Excuse me
-yeah? (I said, thinking maybe he wanted directions)
-do you want ten bucks?
-no thank you
-OK. (The car drives off).

I was shocked. So many things were wrong with this. And I couldn’t help thinking, what if he drives back? I immediately called my dad and asked him to come to pick me up, which I don’t think he should have to do, but I did not feel safe walking the next 20 minutes.

I hate that my immediate thought was: “but I am wearing my gym clothes,” even though I know that that is irrelevant. I hate that I felt like it was my fault, because I shouldn’t be walking in the dark, and I should have covered up more. I am confused by the fact that I think there was someone else in the car with him, and I think it was a girl. This somehow changes the event, but I’m not sure how. I hate that I keep making excuses for him/them, like maybe he/they wanted me to help them pull a prank…. but as a friend of mine said “they should know better than to drive around calling out offers of money to women walking alone at night.” But in any case, young man (and maybe girl), if you were insinuating what you made me feel you were insinuating, whether that was your intention or not, you could offer a fuck load more than 10 bucks.